I’ll be honest, buying a home as a single mom didn’t feel possible for a long time. My son, daughter, and I were settled in a two-bedroom apartment, and at the time, I was working as an accounting manager at a SaaS startup in DC. Financially, I was in a solid position to buy, but managing our apartment was a challenge! My son, who was 8 at the time, had his own room, while my newborn daughter and I shared mine. 

One detail I think is especially important for single moms to consider is that I rented a landlord-tenant unit, which I highly recommend over traditional rentals for reasons I’ll explain.

There was a chain of events that led to our family’s needs changing, and buying a home started to feel like the elephant in the room. We moved into our apartment in 2017, and shortly after, in 2018, I separated from the startup I had worked at for over six years. This officially marked my career shift to entrepreneurship.

In 2020, when the pandemic hit, it was a huge blow to my finances, and I could barely manage the rent at my apartment. My landlord was an angel! He was so patient as I worked to recover after the pandemic. I honestly believe that if I had been in a traditional rental, I would’ve been evicted. As a single parent, everything fell on me, which is why I always tell single moms that renting from a landlord can be a vital safety net.

During the pandemic, the isolation intensified our need for outdoor space. We lived in a four-unit building, and while we had some green space on the side to enjoy outdoor time, it was right off the street with no privacy. My daughter was a toddler, and we were outgrowing the space, especially sharing the same room. I needed separation for my sanity, and she needed space to grow and play.

By this point, I had started to rebound financially and made a commitment! I wasn’t going to rent again after we left that apartment. I told myself we would stay put until I was ready to buy. It’s funny, now as a homeowner, I realize that being "ready" isn’t a real place. You just have to take the leap, and things will fall into place.

Although I’d made that commitment, I still felt like I wasn’t ready. A million thoughts ran through my mind when I thought about buying a home. Can I do this? Would I be able to maintain a house? Should I wait until I find a partner? Who’s going to help me fix things? You name it, I thought it. At the root of it all was fear.

Fear is a constant battle as a single mom, with so much on my plate and countless decisions to make every day. It’s impossible to do it all, community is so important. One day, I was making dinner and talking to my best friend about how I felt, I told her, “I’m just not ready.” She and her husband had recently gone through the homebuying process, so we talked about what it involved.

The next day, I got a call from her realtor. My best friend called her and told her I was ready and to reach out to me to get the process started. I can’t express how much I love her for doing that, she knew I needed a nudge to build the confidence to move forward. In January 2022, I began searching for a home.

Several glasses of wine were consumed navigating a seller’s market and the lack of inventory at the time. Every home I put an offer on had a ridiculous number of competing bids. It was incredibly stressful to compete. After my third offer, I decided to detach from the rejection and ground myself in understanding that this was our starter home! I needed to focus on my non-negotiables. That mindset shift helped me regain focus.

I began to better understand the offer process and market conditions by doing my own research, and that change in perspective helped me evaluate how to make my offers more competitive. In April 2022, I closed on our first home! A contemporary 1970s, four-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bath split-level house. It had everything on my non-negotiable list: a room for each of us plus a guest room, a sizable backyard, a garage, and separate entertaining areas for adults and kids.

It was so hard to leave our apartment! So many major moments for our family happened in that space. Before moving out, I took these photos to capture the home we created there. It was our safe haven during crazy times, and we truly made it ours.

Buying a home is one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done for my family. As hard as it was, I’d do it all again. My advice to single moms who might be fearful of taking this step is, do it! Looking back, I realize the only thing standing in my way was me.